The Treasure Box
by Chanting Fox
Summary: Sly notices a treasure map while leaving the scene of a heist and steals it. He then follows it to the treasure... but it's not what he thought it would be... PG rating for slight violence FINISHED
1. The Treasure Map

"THIS is supposed to be someone's idea of security? Half the spotlights are burnt out, and there are barely any lasers! Add that to the fact that the lasers are moving slower than heavy traffic during rush hour on a highway with only one lane open in each direction..." Needless to say, Sly Cooper was pretty annoyed. He'd heard that the security at this museum was supposed to be the best within a 50-mile radius. Well, it was true... considering that the general concept of "security" within this 50-mile radius was you to just close the door before you left your house. No, not close AND lock it... JUST close it.

"Well, that's the last of the "security..." now it's time to get what I came for." Sly walked up to the small display case in the middle of the room. "What the... THIS is the star exhibit of the museum!" The display case held a diamond that Sly had been told was one of the most famous diamonds in the world. Well, it turned out that was true, but the reason was easy to see... the plaque said "World's Smallest Diamond." "There's no diamond here! Huh? What the... Oh, you've got to be kidding me..." Sly had just noticed a magnifying glass in a small box attached to the display case. A sign on the box said: "Use Magnifying Glass to View Exhibit."

Sly turned around and started to make his way back out of the museum. "That's the first AND LAST time I buy information that's had its price discounted..." Sly suddenly stopped in his tracks, his interest caught by another exhibit. When he walked over to the exhibit, the plaque read "Toy Treasure Map." "That thing doesn't look like a toy to me... it looks real! It might actually be worth something... hold on a moment!" Sly had just realized an exciting possibility. "Considering how naive people seem around here, I bet nobody's ever tried following this map... so there might be a treasure to find if I follow it!" Needless to say, Sly quickly smashed the display case and took the map.

"This is definitely not a toy! This looks like a genuine treasure map!" Feeling somewhat better, Sly quicly made his way out of the museum. "Who knows what awaits me if I follow this map... and besides I could use a break from my usual routine." As Sly left the museum, he had no idea that he was right about that... and that the plaque for the map he had just stolen was right as well. The catch was that Sly had been mistaken in his assumption about what the plaque had meant.


	2. The Hunt

Sly had just finished gathering what he needed for the journey he was able to embark on ito find the treasure. "Well, that's pretty much everything. Hmm... still I should make a final check before I leave. Cane... check. Family book... check. Treasure map... check. Food... check. That's everything." Sly was being a bit silly of course; forgetting to take his cane with him was an impossibility, and the map was essential for obvious reasons. "Well, time to go... wonder if I'll meet Carmelita along the way..." Sly didn't get his hopes up, since he doubted that Interpol would have been notified of the theft of the map, seeing as it had apparently been assumed to be a mere toy. He should have realized that as naive as the people around the area had been, they would still have contacted law enforcement. After all, being naive is one thing, but Sly just hadn't be able to resist leaving his calling card behind at the scene... force of habit.

"I don't understand, sir. Sure we know that it was Sly Cooper who broke into that museum, but why bother Inspector Fox? All that was taken was a toy treasure map!" The captain sighed, and thought to himself: "If I needed proof stupidity was contagious, this would be a perfect example." Rather than waste time explaining why he wanted the young rookie standing in his office to notify Inspector Fox about this development, he said sternly: "That's a order! Now if you're not out of here in 10 seconds, I'll give you latrine duty for a week!" "Latrine duty? We don't have latrine duty... for that matter, we don't have latrines!" The captain slapped his face in disgust and annoyance. For a moment he'd forgotten that it had been 10 years since he'd been in the army. "Just go... and don't mention this to anybody!" The rookie left, and the captain thought to himself: "Perhaps I should take a vacation... a very LONG vacation."

It was a half-hour before Inspector Carmelita showed up. "What on earth took you so long!" "Sir, you should know by now that the rookies take orders given by their superiors a bit too literally. First..." The captain realized where this was heading, and quickly headed Carmelita off. "Never mind that, Inspector. Now despite what it appears..." "What, that Cooper stole nothing more than a toy treasure map? Sir, you and I both know that "stupid" is not a word you'll find in anybody's description of Cooper. Unlike some of the people around the area where the crime took place..." The captain didn't reprimand her for this comment, as he thought the same thing about the people around the area. He had also been told about the "world famous" diamond, and learned exactly WHY it was famous around the world.

"So you realize what's at stake here, and what will happen if Sly Cooper suceeds?" "That depends on whether or not there is actually any treasure to find at the end of his journey, sir. However, I know that if there is actually a treasure waiting if he follows that map, there's a good chance that I won't get another chance to arrest him... but I don't have any intention of letting him get that far in the first place!" As Carmelita turned to leave, the captain asked: "How are you going to find Cooper? We don't have any photographs of the map, so what makes you so sure you'll be able to find him BEFORE he gets to the treasure?" "Simple really... there is a picture of the map. The only problem is that it's in the horrific monstrosity that the museum calls a brochure." "When you get back Inspector, you're getting a day off regardless of whether or not you actually catch Cooper." "What's that supposed to mean! You think that I can't catch Cooper!" "No... I mean that you'll probably need that long to recover from looking at the brochure constantly. "So you've seen it?" "No... but that's what I heard is that it's the amount of time that everybody who reads it needs to get over the splitting headache looking at it gives them."

Carmelita went back to her office and took another look at the brochure for several minutes. "I don't think the captain was joking about that day off..." Yes, the brochure was THAT UGLY. If the looks of something could kill, the brochure from that museum would have the killing potential of a nuke... or the plague. "When I do arrest Cooper, maybe I should make him look at this brochure for a while... no, Cooper can be annoying, but I don"t think I could do something like that to anyone and live with myself." Carmelita quickly closed the brochure, picked up her shock pistol, and headed out of her office for her vehicle.

Sly had run into a slight problem... okay, a big problem. "Figures... "Turn right at the dead oak tree and walk 50 paces." That wouldn't be a problem... except that there's a dozen dead oak trees here!" After several minutes, Sly decided to just pick one of the trees at random and then follow the directions. Fortunately, he had chosen the right tree... unfortunately time and the nearby river had worn away the land. The end result was that Sly ended up losing his balance and rolling down a hill... and at the bottom of the hill were stones that had been carried there by the river when it had flooded in the past. "That was fun... as fun as that heist two months ago..." The heist Sly was referring to was one which had involved a security system consisting of lasers, spotlights, and about 3 dozen guards with motion detectors. It would have been fun if Sly had known the part about the motion detectors BEFORE the heist.

Several hours later, Sly found himself at a cliff... one about 20 feet tall. Fortunately there appeared to be plenty of ledges to jump upon to get to the top. "Now this is more like it! Let's see... "Climb to the top of the cliff, and walk 100 paces forward. Then turn and walk 50 paces right, turn and walk 50 paces right from there, and finally turn and walk 50 paces right from there." Seems simple enough." Sly got to the top of the cliff and started to follow the instructions. He was about to turn right and walk 50 paces for the last time when he realized something. "Wait a minute... I walked right through that spot when I walked 100 paces forward! What kind of directions are these?" "I wouldn't worry about that Cooper... the only direction you're going to be headed in next is the direction of the nearest jail cell!"


	3. Same Old Shoot And Dodge

Sly was a bit surprised, but he didn't let it show. As usual, he immediately started things off with a witty remark. "That's funny... the map didn't mention anything about a pretty fox with a shock pistol." "Yeah, and you're pretty as well... pretty dumb! You really think you can get away from me this time?" "Is that a rhetorical question, or do you expect an answer from me, Inspector?" "Ok, then I've got another question for you... give me one good reason why I shouldn't knock you out with a shot from my shock pistol right now!" 

It was obvious that Inspector Carmelita was not in the mood for an prolonged exchange of verbal barbs. It might have had something to do with the fact that Carmelita's eyes hurt from looking at the museum brochure... yes, like I said before it was THAT UGLY. "One good reason? Hmm.. how about the fact that you might knock yourself off the edge of the cliff?" "Nice try Cooper, but you're going to have to do..." A small piece of the ground at the edge of the cliff crumbled... part of that piece was the ground that Inspector Carmelita was standing on. Her instincts kicked in, and she was able to avoid falling the 20 feet between the top of the cliff and the ground below. Unfortunately for her (and fortunately for Sly), her instincts also caused her to put her hands out in front of her so she didn't end up flat on her face... problem was that this meant she had let go of her shock pistol... and while it hadn't ended up falling 20 feet to the ground either, it DID end up leaving her hands. That's all Sly needed, and as he turned to run for safety, he said: "It's been nice chatting with you again, Inspector Fox. However, they say time is money, so I better get going." 

Sly ended up getting a short head-start on Inspector Carmelita, but she quickly got up and retrieved her shock pistol. "You can run Cooper, but you can't hide!" She took after Sly, and Sly realized that she was right. The area around them was completely bare of any features that could be used for concealment purposes. "Wow, first time something she shouted at me during a chase is actually smart. I wonder, does she still think..." Sly heard the familiar sound of Carmelita firing her shock pistol, and dodged the incoming blast as usual. "Come back here, ringtail!" "Question answered... and the answer is yes."

Things started to get a little tricky after a while, as Inspector Carmelita appeared to be improving her accuracy and there was still no sign of anything to provide cover from the shock pistol blasts. "What did that map say... wait, it said something about a forest at the bottom of the other end of the cliff! Once I get into that forest, I'll be able to lose Carmelita easily. It's too bad really... it's so fun messing with her... at least most of the time." This was one of the few times it wasn't fun... just tedious."I've got to take down Cooper soon... if I don't, he'll escape!" Inspector Carmelita had also remembered about the forest, and it didn't take a rocket scientist (or a turtle named Bentley) to figure out that it would be near-impossible to catch Sly if he made it into the forest... near-impossible if there had been a squad of officers with the Inspector. 

Carmelita fired off another round of shots from her shock pistol... and the last two nearly hit Sly! "This is bad... if I don't come to the other end of this cliff soon, "static cling" will be the least of my worries." Just as he said this, the other end of the cliff came into view. "Okay, all I have to do is make it down this cliff and into the forest. Then after I lose the Inspector, I can continue my treasure hunt. "Wondering if you'll find gold bars in that treasure, Cooper? Don't worry, I'll stop you before you can make it down that cliff... so the only bars you'll have to wonder about are the bars of your jail cell!" 


	4. Success And Failure

Sly was lucky that there turned out to be ledges that he could use to get down the cliff, as he would have ended up being caught by Carmelita if that hadn't been the case. "With the way Carmelita's been shooting, using my Paraglider is not an option... unless I want to make myself an easy target for her." Sly jumped down to the first ledge he saw, and started jumping from ledge to ledge in an attempt to make it down to the ground. However, Inspector Carmelita wasn't far behind.  
"Give up, Cooper! You can't keep this up forever!" "I don't need to keep it up forever... just long enough to get you off my tail, Inspector!" Carmelita replied with several shots from her shock pistol, which Sly easily dodged... not to mention that they ended up destroying the ledge they hit. "Nice shooting Inspector... you're going to get a bit more exercise today than I thought!" "Just you wait Cooper... just you wait!" "Wait? What should I be waiting for? An invitation to dinner? You keep that up and it'll be time for dinner by the time you make it to the bottom of the cliff!" 

Someone listening to the comments Sly was making would have been completely confused as to why he was making them... except for the fact that the ledges that Carmelita was destroying were leaving her with fewer ledges to use to descend down the side of the cliff! A few minutes later, the Inspector stopped firing her shock pistol, and she started to berate herself for her stupidity. "Great work, Carmelita Montoya... you miss Cooper and instead you end up destroying most of the ledges that are the only way down! You're going to need a miracle to catch Cooper now!" 

Of course miracles are always in short supply, and Carmelita didn't receive one. Sly made it to the bottom of the cliff long before Carmelita did. "This forest looks real beautiful right now... I think I'll take a little stroll through it." After calling this up to the Inspector, Sly waved at her and ran into the forest. "NO! HE GOT AWAY AGAIN! I'LL FIND YOU COOPER IF IT'S THE LAST THING I..." Carmelita's yelling was all it took to set off a rockslide consisting of the parts of the cliff she'd ended up weakening when she destroyed the ledges. Fortunately, Carmelita was close enough to the bottom that she could jump off the ledge she was on safely... by landing in some bushes below. "Ouch ow ow ow ow ow ow! YEOWWW!" Yes, that's right... unfortunately they were bushes which defend themselves from predators (and foxes who tried to use them to break their fall) with lots and lots of THORNS. Needless to say, nobody (not even the captain) tried to talk to her when she got back to HQ. Despite the laws against such an act of violence, the Inspector looked like she'd strangle the first creature foolish enough to ask her how things had gone. The only good that came out of it was that the captain decided that he should extend the "day off" he'd promised to a "week off." 

Sly didn't know anything about what happened to Carmelita after he'd entered the forest. He was more interested in finding the treasure... and of course there was the fact that if he retraced his steps, he'd probably get caught. "Alright... time to get back to business." It took several hours for him to find his way to where the treasure was supposed to be. "Oh no... you have got to be kidding me!" The problem now wasn't finding his way to where the treasure was buried... Sly had already found his way there. The problem was that the map stated that the treasure was buried under a rock... and there were a LOT of rocks around. To make matters worse, the map wasn't any more specific about the rock that the treasure was buried under other than the fact it was a rock.

It was getting pretty close to nightfall, so Sly decided to eat some of his food and get some rest. The former act was easy to accomplish... but the latter proved to be nearly impossible courtesy of a rainstorm, and the fact that Sly had neglected to bring a sleeping bag with him. Of course a sleeping bag would have slowed Sly down too much... but the combination of the rainstorm and the ground (which was hard at first and then became a lot of mud after several hours) made things very uncomfortable. As a result, Sly was in a very bad mood when he finally got up in the middle of the day.

"If anybody saw me right now, I'd be a laughingstock. I'd like nothing better than to head home right now and get some sleep... but I've come all this way already, so I guess it's time to start searching under every rock for that treasure. "Several hours later, Sly had found lots of worms, centipedes (from which he received several bites), and dirt... but no treasure. "This bites... oh no! (SLAP!) OW OW OW OW OW! ... Note to self: never slap yourself in the face for making an annoying pun after being bitten on your hands by centipedes." Trying to ignore the pain in his hands(not to mention their inflamed appearance), Sly started to turn over the next rock... which wouldn't budge for some reason. A weary sigh came from Sly's lips and he slowly walked over to the other side of the rock, and attempted once again to turn the rock over... and when it did, Sly could have jumped for joy. However, he didn't... not surprising considering how tired he was.

"Finally! I've found the treasure! Now let's see what's in it... OW OW OW OW OW OW!" Sly had momentarily forgotten about the centipede bites. "THAT was a bad idea... I guess I'll just pack it away with the rest of my things for the time being. It's kind of small... maybe there's a lot of jewels or rings inside it." Sly packed the treasure box away, and started to head into the forest and for home. "I really want to see what's inside that box... but first I'm going to need to take care of these bites." Sly had no idea of the surprise in store for him when he finally opened the box... 


	5. Someone's Idea Of A Joke?

Sly had a bit of trouble getting what he needed to fix those bites on his hands... after all, being famous the world over as a master thief means that you can't just waltz into a drug store and buy something... you've got to disguise yourself before you do that. The problem was that Sly wasn't willing to take the time to disguise himself; the centipede bites were getting more and more painful. "What to do... what to do? Hold on a minute... I know!" A few minutes later, a raccoon walked into a drug store. It happened to be Sly, but nobody realized it. The reason was that he'd removed his mask, taken off his hat, and stashed his cane away with them in an nearby alleyway.

"That was easy... but not exactly my style, and it wouldn't have fooled Inspector Carmelita. Still, it got the job done." Sly wondered how people could be so oblivious sometimes. He didn't think about it for long though... he decided to instead get to work on those centipede bites. Several minutes later, his hands were starting to feel better and the increase in their swelling began to slow down. "I guess I'll still have to wait a while before I can open that box... the suspense is killing me!" Of course, Sly was using an expression.

It took several hours for the swelling and the pain in Sly's hands to go away, and Sly knew better than to wait around in that alley... considering there was a police station just down the block. He was about halfway back to his home when Sly decided it was finally time to open the box. However, when he opened the box, he got a rude shock. "What... THIS is what I did all that work for? Is this someone's idea of a joke?" The "treasure" was nothing more than a bunch of old toys for children to play with!

"Looks like that plaque describing the map was right after all... now I'm REALLY glad that nobody saw me trying to find this!" Sly closed the box up and continue on his way home. It was late at night as he was passing through an alleyway very close to home, and Sly decided to get rid of the box. "Goodbye and good riddance..." Sly tossed the box away, and it bounced off the wall of the alleyway and landed on top of a closed dumpster. "Well, that's that... this is one adventure I'm NOT going to write into the family book." Sly continued out of the alleyway, unaware that the noise the box had made had been noticed by someone.

"What was that noise? I don't know who made it, but I'm going to give them a piece of my mind!" A young fox living in an apartment that had a window overlooking the alleyway (which was open at the time) had been awoken from his sleep by the noise, and he made his way to the window to see who had made the noise. "How annoying... no point in yelling at whoever it was... whoever it was, they've just turned the corner and I really want to get back to sleep. Hmm? What's that on top of the dumpster? It looks like a box... and it's in pretty good condition. Maybe that's what made the noise. Well, no point in leaving it to be crushed when the trash truck comes in the morning. Might as well go get it..." 

A few minutes later, the young fox was in the alleyway, standing in front of the dumpster. He had gotten dressed, and he was examining the box closely. "Looks pretty old... might be worth something, and even if it isn't, I can still use it for something. Wait a minute... this box doesn't feel empty..." The young fox decided to open the box and look inside. He saw the same thing that Sly had... but instead of being annoyed, he stared in surprise and then... he started to chuckle. "I can't believe this... I just can't believe this! This is too good to be true!" The fox started to head back to his apartment with the box and its contents in hand. "I might be wrong, but if that book on antiques says that some of these toys are what I think they are..." The young fox started to chuckle again... thinking of whoever had tossed away the box, and the mistake they might have made in doing so. 


	6. The Real Joke

Several days later, Sly was sitting at home watching TV. He was flipping through the channels, but he wasn't really paying a lot of attention to the TV. He was still thinking about... well, you know what he was thinking about. "Good thing nobody else knows about what was actually in that box... I'd be a laughingstock if somebody had discovered that all I found was a box full of old children's toys. Huh... wait... wasn't that..." Sly flipped back a few channels and realized to his surprise and horror that it WAS "that"... that box of toys that he had ditched in the alley.

A middle-aged dog in a suit was talking to a young fox. "Where did you find these toys?" "Somebody tossed them away in the alleyway near my apartment. The noise woke me, and I managed to catch a glimpse of whoever it was. I wouldn't be able to identify whoever it was since it was only a small glimpse, but whoever it was was carrying a cane with a hook-shaped head. When I went to see what it was that had made the noise, I found this box, and when I opened it, I found the toys in it. I thought I recognized a few of them from a book on antiques I'd borrowed from the library, and when I checked..." The fox started to chuckle and said, "You know, I started to chuckle just like this when I opened this box..." 

It didn't sink in to Sly's head at first, as he was too relieved that the fox hadn't caught enough of a glimpse to identify him. "What a relief... wait... OH NO... there's one person who's going to put two-and-two together... and she'll definitely rub it in!" Sly had just realized that Inspector Carmelita would have a pretty good idea of who it was that had ditched the box in the alley... for obvious reasons. "Well, at least things can't get any worse." 

A few moments later, Sly wished he hadn't said that. "Me and my big mouth..." The show on the channel was "Trash or Treasure?" It was a pretty popular TV show where antiques experts traveled around the world, and made free appraisals of various curiosities and knickknacks that people thought might be worth something. As it turned out, the toys were worth quite a lot... "Until now, only 5 of these dolls were known to still exist... the last one came up for auction 5 years ago and went for 9,000 dollars. However, all of the other toys are almost as rare... and as a collection there's no telling how much they'd go for at auction. My conservative estimate is that as a collection, these toys would bring around 40,000 to 50,000 dollars at auction." Sly turned off the TV and buried his head in his hands. "My father always told me that there would be days that would make it look like turning yourself in would be a smart move... and this is definitely one of them." Elsewhere, tears of laughter were streaming down the face of a certain fox... and it wasn't the one being shown on TV. "Ringtail, looks like the next we meet..." Carmelita burst into another round of laughter... "Finally the joke is on YOU, Cooper... the joke is finally on you!" Now Carmelita couldn't wait until the next time she met Cooper. He probably wouldn't be as annoying... and if he was, she could cut him down to size by telling him about this. 


End file.
